T’was Two Months Before Christmas

Posted by Jeff on November 6, 2009 under Humor |

T’was two months before Christmas and all through the mall

Decorations were hanging from ceiling and wall.

And as I looked ‘round at the shops getting ready

I could not help but frown. Is it Christmas already?

What of Thanksgiving? It was just Halloween!

And there’s not a turkey or pilgrim to be seen!

We went from pumpkins and bats to tinsel and lights

Twinkling so cheerful through these mid-autumn nights.

The spirit, it spread like some vile disease

While outside green leaves still sat snug in the trees.

And then, in the lobby, there arose such a fuss

I ran forward shouting “what do they inflict upon us?”

I saw the man draped in satin and velour

And covered my eyes screaming “Mercy! No more!”

Decked out in traditional red with white trim

I couldn’t believe it! They already had him?

With his ruddy red face and his beard white as snow

Santa already had a bunch of small kids in a row.

“Well what to my wondering eyes should appear!

It’s only November, what’re you doing here?!

Santa! You’re early! Or don’t you recall?

Your holiday’s NOT in the middle of fall!”

He hopped down from his sleigh, a formidable elf

I took a wary step backwards, in spite of myself.

“I’m the spirit of Christmas!” he said with a laugh

“Spirit enough for a month and a half!

So we crowd out Thanksgiving! Is that such a loss?

Some trimmings and stuffing and cranberry sauce?”

At his point his coursers converged on the spot

And just let me say tiny reindeer they’re not.

“So the kids come and see me! They give me their lists!”

Santa went on, shaking mitten wrapped fists.

“And I station myself here! Do you know why?

The whole point is giving and to give you must buy!”

Now his red-cherry nose was just inches from mine

So I tossed my hands up and said “Sure Santa, fine!”

I guess he was satisfied, he jumped in his sleigh

And screamed to his reindeer: “Up up and away!

To the top of the food court, to the top of the mall,

Now dash away dash away dash away all!”

As he left he cried out, I distinctly remember-

“Merry Christmas to all! I’ll be back next September!”

Stumble it!