Role Models
Posted by Jeff on February 28, 2009 under Humor, Opinions | 
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Do you have kids? Are you a kid yourself? Are you drifting rudderless through life? If so, you may be in need of a role model. Role models are important. You look up to them and try and live your life like they have lived theirs, hoping to yield similar results. It stands to reason, then, that selecting a role model is a very important task that should be done carefully and with great deliberation. Perhaps you find that you look up to your mom or dad. That’s an easy one because they’re around a lot which gives you plenty of opportunity to observe them. (If they are frequently absent from your life you may want to rethink them as role models.) Maybe you really admire your local pastor or rabbi. Good for you, religious figures often have very strong moral compasses. (Barring any sort of unpleasantness revolving around media scandals.) Or do you hold a civil rights activist in high regard? He could be someone you want to select as a role model. You know who usually winds up as a disappointment as a role model, though? Celebrities.
Being very good at being recognized when you are out at dinner is not a hallmark of being a good person. Being a good singer or a talented actor or an exceptional athlete doesn’t automatically make you smart and ethical and admirable. Parents, be advised that if your child is looking to a teenage actress on the Disney channel as a paragon of virtue and good life choices you may be doing something wrong.
Don’t misunderstand, I don’t have an axe to grind with celebrities in general. However, it’s important to realize that these are just people who are good at their jobs. Robert Downey, Jr, for example, is very good at acting in movies. Do I want to live like Robert Downey, Jr? Not particularly. Using him as a template for my life because he is good at acting is like following in the footsteps of a lumberjack just because he can cut down a tree very well. (One might argue the latter is actually a better role model, what with the healthy outdoor living and all.)
Every so often there is a small scandal involving some young celebrity. Actually, there are always several scandals involving celebrities of all ages to the extent that a whole magazine industry can flourish, but for the sake of simplicity (and the dear sweet children) I’m focusing on the younger set. Most recently Michael Phelps, who won a record eight gold medals at the last Olympics, was photographed apparently smoking pot at a college party. Oh man! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that’s the sort of thing college students get up to. Marijuana, alcohol, coitus out of wedlock, these are staples of the college lifestyle. I’m sorry! Before that, Miley Cyrus, star of the popular show Hannah Montana, was caught sending provocative photos to one of the Jonas brothers. Faith and begorrah, a teenage girl all jacked up on hormones is doing vaguely sexual things with a teenage boy similarly jacked up on similar (but hopefully not identical) hormones? What are the odds? The odds are about one in one, that’s simple teenage mathematics.
So what do we do?! Can we not trust celebrities to guide our children so that we can slope off to bowl a few frames or try on some new hats? The answer is a resounding no. If you needed me to tell you that, really, you need a role model of your own. Celebrities, particularly young ones, are idiots just like the rest of us. Do we need a new role model in the fifteen to twenty-five age bracket who is so dazzlingly honest and pure that we can safely point out to our children? Probably not. The more perfect a young celebrity seems the worse it will be when they crack. And they will crack, especially with the strain of having to be a wholly amazing beacon of hope and light and what-have-you. If you’re still grasping for someone to look up to, I’m available Tuesdays and Thursdays after dinnertime. I’m in the proper age range and I have been known to make stupid choices. Drop me a line! If I don’t get back to you right away it’s because I’m out drinking and avoiding the paparazzi.