I am a master of stealth. I am a hidden, silent terror that strikes without warning. I am doing it all by accident. Honest.
I’m a big guy (height, not width) and you would think that as a result I’d be fairly noticeable. Hell, oftentimes I am noticed. It’s pointed out to me that people are looking at me, and I’m frequently stopped and asked how tall I am. So what I don’t get is how sometimes people have no idea I’m around.
It happens most at work. Sometimes I stand by the front door and act as a greeter. Several times a week someone will walk past me and when I say hello, they jump. Or they look around and can’t find me right away. It’s the damndest thing. I suppose there’s some sort of psychological explanation but I’m just going to start robbing them.
Just a note, I did a guest column over at The Alternative Press. (The column, in fact, is what had me lamenting writer’s block.) It says something about me that the column didn’t come together until I scrapped my topics that had anything to do with anything and started writing about elves.
Sometimes, when you’re a writer, you get writer’s block. Sometimes, when you’re a writer with writer’s block you write about it. Then you post it on the internet. It’s one of the more annoying things that can happen to a writer. (The block itself, not the writing about it on the internet. That’s just annoying to you.)
It’s sort of like having a song in your head, but you can’t quite remember the chorus. There’s something there, you know it, but you can’t call it up. Do whatever you want, you’re not gonna get it. Hum a few bars, tap out the drum solo on your desk, clench your fists and scream at the heavens for cursing you with such a terrible fate… ain’t nothing gonna pull the words out of your mind. And so it goes with writer’s block.
I’m trying to pull together a column for a small online publication and damn if I’m not blocked harder than a man who’s been eating nothing but peanut butter and glue for two weeks. I don’t submit a lot of work out like this, so the words, they’re a little shy about coming out. I’ve started the thing twice, to no avail.
So what do you do to cure writer’s block? Well, there are a few ways to try and snap out of it, but I prefer the lamest and most lazy of all methods…
From time to time there may be things that I’d like to present that won’t fit in any of my other categories. Primarily, these would be things that wouldn’t be by yours truly but yours truly still wants you to see. It’s just another fantastic feature! Why go anyplace else?!
This new feature is called “In The Thresher” because inside a thresher you can find wheat AND chaff and I hope to throw a bit of both at you. As a trial thresher run, I present a YouTube video featuring an attractive woman with little clothing on doing a pole dance. The catch? It is very hard not to get distracted.
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